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Recent Critics






Gary Hartley
Using up all the good oxygen.

Reviews: 354 | Games: 437 | Following: 0 | Followers: 12

Gary Hartley @EmPAug 13, 2014
Great; just what psychological horror needs. Unskipable cut scenes married with self-congratulatory, overly-pretentious dribble and repressed sexual aggression spread egregiously over scant actual gameplay. Coloured me excited.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 27, 2014
Currently playing : Only If. Currently whimsical: constantly.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 26, 2014
@zippdementia Gotta speed up that small slice of gameplay so you can get the the next pretentious, overbearing cut scene to lull you to sleep.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 26, 2014
People are, of course, quite correct in pointing out how awful MGS is. I tip my hat to them so I need not write something myself.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 24, 2014
Put impromptu Another World review on hold when Steam updates informed me that the new chapter of TWD was now awaiting a play. Played through it yesterday. Befuddled thoughts to follow, possibly in vexed rant mode.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 22, 2014
@Masters @Ben Turns out I was doing things out of order. Guess the old memory isn't as keen as I=it used to be. I was skipping half the cave so that when I got through the base, that huge pit wasn't flooded. You know the bit!
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 21, 2014
@Ben I had an hour to kill before football, and it's been sitting on my Steam list for a while. And I thought "I used to be able to smash through that game in 25 minutes, I'll do that". Turns out, no. That's no longer a thing.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 21, 2014
Currently playing: Another World. Currently swearing: Continuously.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 17, 2014
@JoeTheDestroyer I rather liked Risen.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 13, 2014
@honestgamer @Germ I've enjoyed LoD so much, I've thus far reviewed it three times.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 12, 2014
@wolfqueen001 Yes. That. I was pretty certain that Germany would win. They put together a hell of a young team last tourney and now they've matured into real world beaters. But I never expected to see Brazil demolished like that.
Gary Hartley @EmPJul 08, 2014
Football.... bloody hell.
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 30, 2014
Attack the globes.
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 29, 2014
DE bought me Goat Simulator in an attempt to stop me spending every spare second I have on Xenonauts. I then get weird messages in the early hours of the morning. "Why are you not playing Goat? Are you playing Goat now?"
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 28, 2014
@Suskie Misery simulator Banner Saga? I really liked that one, too.
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 25, 2014
Found a post-it on my monitor. It said "INTERVENTION! Stop playing Xenonauts and go outside!" I ignored this sage advise.
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 21, 2014
These scores are all ludicrously high.
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 07, 2014
@Ben I looked at that to complete the dreaded #. Went elsewhere. It does seem the kind of thing you'd be drawn to.
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 07, 2014
Cleared Among The Sleep; the first person horror exploration game where you play as a toddler running away from something that wants to eat your face.
Gary Hartley @EmPJun 02, 2014
@Suskie There's two words I never thought I'd see together.
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 26, 2014
@JoeTheDestroyer Just as a quick aside, HMH2 does away with everything bar the hero mode -- and is all the better for it.
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 17, 2014
@zippdementia You seem to have a working PC. Get on it!
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 15, 2014
I'll be writing a review for Walking Dead Episode 3 shortly which will more or less be a written version of me screaming and watching through my fingers. Seriously. That escalated really bloody quickly.
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 14, 2014
Spec Ops: The Line is currently 75% off on Steam. If you do not own this game, go and buy it now. That is all.
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 13, 2014
@overdrive Alternatively, Vagrant Story is awful. In everything it does. Link's Awakening is awesome.
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 07, 2014
I am not a fan of jury service.
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 06, 2014
@Suskie We do like to talk about Silent Hill.....
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 05, 2014
@JoeTheDestroyer I, also, have stupid jury duty starting tomorrow. Urgh
Gary Hartley @EmPMay 04, 2014
@Suskie Do yourself a favour and stop there. Well, SH3 isn't awful, but the series is all downhill from there, old chum.
Gary Hartley @EmPApr 25, 2014
@pickhut Love me some FLT. It's been on freeze while I whacked through my adventure game itch but think I'll pick it back up.
Gary Hartley @EmPApr 20, 2014
@JoeTheDestroyer I picked that up a while ago, but sits unused on my harddrive. For now.
Gary Hartley @EmPApr 14, 2014
@honestgamer Ys III was the worst of the Ys'. While I wrote this Ys III slam, Dogi relaxed at a local spa.
Gary Hartley @EmPApr 10, 2014
@Germ @Ben I've reviewed X-Com roughly 107 times.
Gary Hartley @EmPApr 10, 2014
@pickhut I remember making that recommendation. It sure was a while back.
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 30, 2014
@Suskie Short answer: ease of database maintenance. It's a nightmare to keep it current.
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 27, 2014
@JoeTheDestroyer I very nearly picked that one up. Went for a zombie apoc sim instead
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 18, 2014
I see that half the Spec Ops: The Line guys have sodded off to form their own Indie company and are still really bitter about being forced to have that multiplayer tack-on in their game. That I loved. Did I ever mention that?
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 16, 2014
@JoeTheDestroyer I've owned Book of Memories since release, more or less, and have still yet to work up the desire to take it out of the shrink wrap.
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 13, 2014
@pickhut @overdrive Maybe when the night turn chilly again, Hobo Venter will come out from under his bridge, put down his bottle of paint thinners and let us know how good Nintendo's latest offering is.
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 12, 2014
@overdrive Hobo-Venter has been led gently into a local soup kitchen where he has found a Kirby plushie to use as a makeshift pillow. I think he's going to be okay.
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 12, 2014
Fighting Venter photo based injustice wherever he might find it. Hobo-Venter activate!
Gary Hartley @EmPMar 01, 2014
I have a bunch of Steam 25% off coupons for Broken Age if anyone wants any.
Gary Hartley @EmPFeb 24, 2014
@wolfqueen001 @Suskie @zippdementia It's not my fault I'm so good at judging games, I don't even need to play them anymore to know they're awful.
Gary Hartley @EmPFeb 22, 2014
@wolfqueen001 @zippdementia Though I have never played Heavy Rain, I still reserve the right to think it awful. And tell everyone it's awful. And, let's face it, I'm usually right, so best accept that fact that it's awful.
Gary Hartley @EmPFeb 19, 2014
@jerec @honestgamer BOOM! Someone just hit six. And is eager to point out two reviews under the same letter.
Gary Hartley @EmPFeb 16, 2014
@Ben On the other hand, Wedding Qake might just be the greatest thing ever.
Gary Hartley @EmPFeb 14, 2014
@Ben Playing that now. It has a lot more misses than hits, but that it fires jokes at you on full auto means some have to work out of pure number.
Gary Hartley @EmPFeb 01, 2014
@EmP @Suskie .... to me
Gary Hartley @EmPFeb 01, 2014
@Suskie I also enjoyed this game. I rec'd it so someone else who did not care for it, and she's dead.
Gary Hartley @EmPJan 28, 2014
@honestgamer What a lovely offer, but I think I'll stick to being a pretentious Indie gamer for now. Unless you find Indie darts, then I'm right back to being an AAA release guy.

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