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carcinogen_crush The sun is out and bright while,
We are all eating popsicles.
Because maybe the world will end and,
That's the best way to it.

SCREAM through dreams that cut your voice off;
wide awake, will nothing soothe?
With a word I'd take this pain from you,
but I fall mute.

Title: Soul Calibur IV
Posted: July 11, 2007 (01:18 AM)
Means that I must buy a huge TV that can contain the improved (and massive) beauty that are Ivy and Taki's curves.

Oh yeah, and large, most likely brown nipples.

What is it that drives me to this kind of nerd-tastic pervasiveness?

Eyah, I dunno.

But seriously. I'm talking like. . . the call for a 42" HD.

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Title: "Keys" (Poetry by . . .Crush)
Posted: July 10, 2007 (02:27 AM)
Watch the leaves on the apple tree
Catch dapples on the dashboard
Shadows are a mystery
but there's enough in your world
See the sun spot hit the window
Put your glasses in their holster
Shade is different,
shade is the variable

Remember the Summer where we thought no wrong?
A wind blew through and we each caught love
I never thought it would last, personally
I never knew anything
Cause here we are taking turns talking over cold drinks.
Many miles into the afterwards
I still have mine, and you have yours

See the body in the wheelchair
Cast your eyes upon the blue sign
Get caught up in history
by counting every white hair
Slew of years already past you
Feel the parking post's stare
When did all the time leave
you never ever noticed

There must have been some fun, then somewhere
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Title: See my kitty!!!!
Posted: July 08, 2007 (03:38 AM)
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I decided to name it Fortune.
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Title: Hrm.
Posted: July 07, 2007 (03:44 PM)
Posted a Shadow Hearts review a day or so back. . .

Not sure if I'm satisfied with it, yet I can't think of anything that I feel I personally left out. A few nuances about the battle system and overall atmosphere could have been all the more helpful to paint a better picture. . .

Regardless, I think it turned out, uh, not half bad, or something.

Next up is The Darkness for the 360, which I'm having some very mixed thoughts about - but the review should be up by, at the latest, next Sunday or Monday.

See you soon.
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Title: DUDE LIEK!!!!!!!!
Posted: July 06, 2007 (09:15 PM)
I got a new kitten, and it has six fucking digits on each front paw. I'd never even heard of a Hemmingway Cat before; and now I have one.

That's so awesome.
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Title: "Now We're Gone"
Posted: July 02, 2007 (02:44 PM)
In the kind of day when we were younger boys
I was poor and you were broke, but had money
Mom and dad loved you and it payed,
Because I saw it, too
From you
You helped me out from what I was going through
I couldn't afford a burger and fries for me and mine
She said that girls have a thing for
Guys who drove cars. . .
Well, you didn't help me there, but I believe

Matters of love and those of spite,
Both come on easy and die.
Born without a person on my side,
I know you were meant to be.
And what about love?
Sparkles of animation in my eyes,
Inspiration rests in my head.
I grew up alongside few best friends,
Your name here, you're one of them.
Who taught me all about. . .
What it means to live, I guess.

Back when the world seemed entirely too small
It was two sidekicks against every little thing
A mom and dad I never had, loved you and it payed
Because I got it too,
I took it all, all of the good in from you
In the times when I was leaving and you had left
I thought about taking the same train out of town
I philosophized about with what my own road would be paved
I didn't get your smarts, no way
You gave me nothing of drive -

But I don't blame you, that is yours and it's valuable.
For what you did give, I give thank,
And I will remember
And I will always remember my first love

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Title: Collection.
Posted: July 02, 2007 (03:30 AM)
"Old Train"

We all are here
Just as the time
Yet so unchanged

You left for
Big city life
But we,
Had little choice

Did you forget?
Our anthem,
If you did. . .

'Brightness of sun go home
Hope burrow through earth
The moon keeps rising
We meet in the moments there
Silence before war
Our backs hurt so
And will do
As life goes on'

Meet me at the house
Our place where things
Simply devoured

Innocence we hold
Good for only so long
I'd rather,
Be dead than boring


"Matters of Spite"

Let's say God exists
Then how can you be sure
That they would love you?
Tell me that God exists,
And I'll tell you a story:
The story of a child who knew how to see themselves.

For what it's any worth
I love you like I love
The best of things in life.
Tell me that God exists,
Tell me about someone who cares that much;
I'll point your eyes to a mirror and back away slowly.

When you've been dying and then pass
Who is it that will come to your blank
Spirit and address you, say:
"You should never have left me alone."

Your years spent literally dying
Defeat will as fire
To swampland dream.
Extinguish trust in Faith
And give your all to faith:
No one else will ever have to face up to what you've done.


"Tremulous Track"

I was lying down, right there where she was on the couch. The entire day passed, the memory of it was incomprehensibly faint and the smell that came from her clothes and hair into the apartment with me made trying to recall anything at all more troublesome than it would have been otherwise. Out on the waterfront at night, we'd gone through the gates of the amusement park together, looking for a good time, I suppose. Nothing much else to do in this kind of city so late, other than get shit faced or fucked up, and we'd already done both of those the night before with her brother and his boyfriend.

Moreso than at high noon, the Summer's heat surrounded the metro with an unrelenting humidity, a tacky heaviness, but thankfully calmed and chided just enough for contentment by a slight, low wind. That feeling in your chest that the best have tried miserably to describe. They used words, words written in the confines of their homes and bedrooms, looking out their lonely little windows at all of the pretty girls and boys in the sunlight; sentences and dialogues, poetry that failed, fell flat. Romanticism looks more like depression.

The elation invaded me then, and I'd touched the underside of a railing that led you up to the egg scrambler by mistake, got someone else's gum stuck into the palm of my left hand. Disgusting stuff, sure, but she'd never broken stride or smile, just laughed and made fun of me. Sure, I tried to wipe it on her, and sure she'd yelled. We, neither one of us, stopped a second to frown or glare. And before the ride started, I picked it off and tossed it into her compartment.

I forgot to wash my hands after we'd come back to my place, and I stared at the shadows of my digits in front of the white light that the TV put into the firstroom. The noise of the machines, the grind of metal on metal and all of the sweating, it had happened and nearly less than two hours ago. Memories, though, the good ones. . .

Your chest sinks again, and I think for the second time, it's because you're so damned afraid of losing it to circumstance or even, possibly never being in a moment so haphazzard again.

To be continued. . .

--- ---

Morrissey was on Letterman with his new single, and it blew me away, as per usual. Such an emotional one, and above all, mature in nature. A revent favorite.

For those who haven't heard, look it up on Youtube.

"That's How People Grow Up"

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Title: Man.
Posted: May 25, 2007 (02:46 PM)
That big Russian looking guy from Pinocchio always scared me. A lot.
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Title: "First of a Very Long One Word List"
Posted: May 22, 2007 (09:38 PM)
Let me tell you something about myself.

You may not guess it right off, but let me tell you, that I am as capable as anyone, and even more capable when it comes to surprising you. So never turn your care off for too long at a time, or you might be blind sided with a realization not in your favor.

It's proof that you're not the only person alive, when I say something you weren't expecting, and something that you'd rather not hear.

Watch your back, or I'll fall in love with you all over again.

How about yourself, now?

What ails you?

No; don't tell me. You can, but I won't care.

You use your pillow to cry on and your allies to make you feel good. If you depend on your friends to watch you bawl and sulk, you'll be sadly mistaken about the state of things when they prefer time without you, and your time is spent mostly alone.

Thought is the sickness that plagues you. You're a formulating and callous bitch, aren't you? Conspiracy theorist? I can't recall a time when you weren't looking for an excuse or a propaganda to ride.

You think too hard, and you think with your. . . which is good to keep up, but really, aren't you missing something when you divert your focus to that alone? Yeah, I could fuck you if you wanted me too. Over and over again until you bled, if that's what you wanted.

In exactly the way that anyone else could, and eventually, you'd tire of me, too.

Is there anything that truly makes you happy without having to worry about your ass, or the way you present yourself? Other than picking a pointless fight? Can you bring yourself to that point, to realize that you're making a fool out of yourself? Hey, and I even cared about you once, too.

Maybe the feeling's still there, perhaps, you think?

But people like me have one leg hanging from the train, so they can be at the station on time to catch the next one.

The lesson is, if you'll believe it, that good things come, but they never go. Your sadness is a momentary distraction from the best of life and the best of times, and even the morbid thought brought on by war only lasts as long as that. If you make it out alive.

And truth be told, even years from now, you'll cross my mind.

So I'll get back on a train and pass the place we used to live, wondering if you're still around. Whether you'd actually be there or not, I will, eventually.

I ain't got anything better to do.
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Title: NEWS!
Posted: May 22, 2007 (08:01 PM)
Music From Regions Beyond, Tiger Army's fourth LP, hits stores June 5th.

The date, for myself and a handful of others, I'm sure, has come sooner, in light of a certain torrent.

I'm happy to say that the time spent waiting for Nick13's newest work has not been in vain; the album is not only a fix of all that the band has done wrong in the past, but also a combination of all of the best.

Unfortunately for Psycho fans, the direction of the project has only kept the barest of all their roots' essentials, infusing their sound with more of a darker toned 50's pop and dance essence. Furthermore, pushing the romantic/sappy rockabilly vibe into more noticeable light.

I myself, love this one, from beginning to end.

For the skeptics, the album at least has an interesting arrangement and spirit about it.

I would suggest it to anyone who's curious, so make sure to look into it early this next month. Do it. I command you.
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Posted: May 21, 2007 (02:12 AM)
I found a copy of L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics today (the new 1987! edition), at Value Village for $2.

And also, a copy of W. Gibson's Count Zero for 99 cents. Hoping for the best on that one. I loved Neuromancer, but I started into Mona Lisa Overdrive and was bored outta my skull.

I go back to work the first week of June hopefully. Among other things, to attempt to stockpile enough money to buy me a computer that can run Gothic 3 and maintain 50+ tabs of free porn at the same time.

Been working some more on what will hopefully be a finished novel, sometime this Summer. The going's slow and all, but you just have to keep faith and sanity, I guess.

Romancing Saga is awesome so far, very non-linear, a nice break from a straight shot kind of RPG. Speaking of which, think I'll take a break from RS and jump into Kingdom Hearts 2 tomorrow and see what that's like.

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Title: Back in business(?)
Posted: May 17, 2007 (09:05 PM)
I think whatever the hell attacked me those weeks back now, is finally backing the derp off.

About damned time, too.

So to celebrate, the gang's taking to the woods tomorrow to climb n' jump and stuff. !!!


Also, next in the works is a Romancing Saga review, because, despite the word on the street, the game is pretty durned tootin so far. Seriously, I'd heard a lot of negative about this one, so dropping the $30 on it was far from smiley. Now?

Well, I'll see what I can put together.


Splinter Cell: Double Agent is annoying. Raising the brightness level ruins the experience, but leaving it where it is pushes you into having your NVG equipped from the beginning of the stage to the end.

Only to the second level as it is, but the narrative seems pretty slim going in. Hopefully, that'll change.

And a note on the second stage; why in the shit doesn't anyone notice the big blinking monitor on your shoulder? Or the one on your wrist?

That isn't normal.


You guys jump on Slsk and look for Thought Riot's "With Love, The Underground" + AFI's classic "Triple Zero" or hell, even their rendition of Filth's "Today's Lesson".

Now that's some stuff worth hearing.

By the way. . .


Hard-boiled? Ah, I'm in love!
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Posted: May 17, 2007 (09:13 AM)
Alright there, thought I'd try out one of the new mood choices and at the same time, present the name of an awesome song, that you should definitely Soulseek.

Song = Sink, Florida, Sink by Against Me!

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Title: Hoooooose.
Posted: May 16, 2007 (12:13 AM)
* Boy knocks the shit out of another boy using a Chess clock. Then his head almost explodes. (Maybe there's a new tren with exploding heads?)

* Cuddy talked about some stuff near the beginning that I missed.


* Foreman was sabotaged by House, surprise-surprise. Later on, it is suggested that House ask Foreman to stay, so that Foreman has a better sense of self.

* Instead, he makes him redo his work, knowing the case is already over, and stay overnight. (Oooo, bad.)

* They feed the boy shrooms, hoping for. . . something or other. He arms a meat shank and wants Cameron to take care of him, happy ending style, I guess. Afterwards, he wants more of the stuff, then has an episode.

* Boy has a bad temper and is a general ass. Bad shit keeps happening, like fever and stuff. I hate fevers. Eventually, they test to see if he's not handling a certain kind of chemical the way he should be (can't remember what) by force feeding him stale, hospital burgers.

* The test sucked, and results were inconclusive.

* Boy gets pissed and threatens everyone in the room, then gets even more pissed and pisses on the floor. Wait, THAT'S NOT PISS!

* Well, it is, but there's a shit load of blood in it, too.


* Boy's body can't handle Iron. Whoops, sorry.

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Title: Holy Dick
Posted: May 13, 2007 (11:57 PM)
I'm messed up with something and it just keeps getting worse. Constantly having this intense stomach cramp that feels like nausea, as if I'm always bordering on the edge of blowing chunks.

Fever and headache and muscle pain. Shit. This sucks, and it's not getting any better, despite being on anti-biotics.


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