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Title: 2010 in music
Posted: August 05, 2010 (01:55 AM)
Title: Review: 3DO Doom.
Posted: July 09, 2010 (02:23 AM)
Have you read my buddy Rob's
review for SNES Doom? Not only
does 3DO Doom have most of the
same problems, but it runs in a
windowed mode that takes up two
fucking inches of your television
screen. There's really nothing
more to say. At least the new
music is nice.
Final score: 1/10.
Why would this not be accepted, Jason?
Title: dave chappelle is a genius
Posted: June 22, 2010 (09:15 PM)
Title: TT strategy
Posted: June 19, 2010 (01:35 AM)
using only the axiom of completeness, i will prove that Doom 3 sucks.
Title: math in review
Posted: February 03, 2010 (08:40 PM)
functional analysis? c'mon son, get the fuck outta here with that shit.
combinatorial group theory? mmmmmm
i also wrote some reviews but i think if i ever try to do it again it'll just be a mess of symbols and i'd try to define a topology on samus aran's robo titties.
Title: i am going to hell.
Posted: January 12, 2010 (02:56 AM)
(4:52:39 AM) almighty Fatness: "topics in algebra and number theory" i wonder how that'll be.
(4:52:43 AM) almighty Fatness: probably shit, i hate number theory.
(4:53:31 AM) PickHut: What if it was number conspiracy theories?
(4:53:36 AM) almighty Fatness: haha
(4:53:40 AM) almighty Fatness: the x files
(4:53:41 AM) almighty Fatness: BAD JOKE
(4:53:44 AM) PickHut: hahaha
Title: random TT thoughts/observations
Posted: August 30, 2009 (06:27 PM)
because I'm very bored.
-as always, third men make or break you. GUTS coasted us through a season in '05 and then cost us it when he didn't show for the finals, arkrex cost us '07, and now not being able to count on Espiga to even have a chance at Schultz in the finals forced an awkward lineup that put everything on one guy. also notice how much picking Vorty hurt WQ's squad. the best draft picks weren't the Zigs and the Woodhouses, they were the DOIs and the BELIs.
-Week 4 was hilarious in hindsight, even if Jerec is still a bitch. if he'd just abstained from voting on the Metal Slug match then our teams would have tied with one win each and the same amount of votes, which would have been awesome. oh well.
-by far the review I enjoyed writing the most was Scythe, with Week 7 being the most enjoyable matchup. I like having little gimmick matches against my buddies like that, instead of like "ok, Janus wrote a review that's like this so what can I do to counter it".
-no hard feelings against Espiga, he had actual real life stuff going on. at least he got a few wins (particularly against bbobb) and probably made a few others sweat a bit. I was considering taking the Esssspiga joke further and actually writing him a new review, but was too lazy and in no position to be dicking around toward the middle. I'm curious, were any of you judges not actually aware that he was MIA? it seemed like it, sometimes.
-Woodhouse was a clutch draft pick, he racked in all of the important wins that shot us from barely still being in to a #1 seed. especially against Suskie; we didn't need that to win, it turns out, but that along with WQ beating Schultz got us the top spot. one of the better draft picks I've made along with GUTS, Ukyo, and Cairo.
-I haven't really checked, but I don't think Team Zig would have even made the finals with a Mister_E that won every round.
-I'm happy I wrote half new stuff and used heavily updated, non-favored old stuff when I didn't. Zig was particularly good about this, too. I'm sure the judges are just as bored as I am of reading the same old Doom II and Emerald Dragon reviews.
Title: hey cool people
Posted: August 13, 2009 (10:44 PM)
"An Xbox Live Arcade version of id software's 1994 shooter Doom II: Hell on Earth is being shown on the floor at QuakeCon, expected to be officially announced later today. A whole new episode will be included, along with all of Doom 2's original content."
think it'll be any good, or just a bunch of shitty 1994 maps and monster holocausts?
Title: interest test
Posted: August 10, 2009 (11:33 PM)
I might post this in the main forum if you all ignore this, but so long as I get a good 8-12 bites here then I can keep it out of the way.
despite the fact that we fucked up the first one a bit, particularly with our awful combined judging idea that turned into us writing two sentences agreeing with each other and then moving on, EmP and I would like to run Because We Hate You! again. it was a good idea and we got a lot of fun reviews out of it, as well as confirming the legend that the original Quake is simply a fiction of the internet's imagination and does not actually exist.
if we were masters of internet reviewer psychology then he wouldn't be fumbling this season and I'd have a TT ring, though, so I'll just ask. would anyone be up for a major comp that requires a decent time investment so soon after the TT, or should we wait?
the gist, for those of you who missed it: you list which systems you can emulate, which systems you can pirate things for, and which systems you have as well as a maximum spending limit--with the expectation being that this limit is $0, hence the emulation/piracy thing. it just gives us interesting options if any of you have a few bucks to kill. then we assign you a game in secret which you can choose to reveal or not, and write a review of it.
the judging panel will consist of two nerdy drunkards with huge cocks and an absurd knowledge of drumming and topology between the two of them.
Title: Memories of GUTS: Aerobiz Supersonic
Posted: August 02, 2009 (03:30 PM)
now that Venter's deleting fan fiction, this one needs to be archived somewhere. why not here? it's a story GUTS wrote and I approved way back, and it speaks for itself.
The plane rose above 4000 feet, and I could feel my crotch getting tight against my trousers. I was flying a straight line from Tokyo to Sydney, business was a pressing matter that didn't allow for any dalliances, at least that's what I told myself before lift off. Now that I was up here, in the sky, my life and everything I knew entrusted to a hulking metal bird, a dalliance didn't seem such a bad thing.
Slowly I tugged my zipper down, hiding my hand under the food tray. An elderly man walked by, glancing my direction, but not taking any particular notice. I pretended to stare out the window, bored with the flight. When he had passed, I snaked 6 inches of my rock hard boner out of my pants and prepared the other 13 for their inevitable appearance.
"Stewardess!" I called, raising one hand to flag her over. She was a pretty thing, slim and attractive with long blonde hair and a friendly smile. Her blue eyes met mine and she nodded, starting towards me.
"Can I help you sir?" Her voice was pleasant, but not particularly attractive.
"Yes," I stammered, pretending to be shy, "I seem to have lost my peanuts. I had them a minute ago, but I think I dozed off for a moment and dropped them."
She smiled, "That's alright, let me get you another bag." Our eyes locked for a moment, as if she had a thought that I was hitting on her and she didn't mind at all.
"No worries," My eyes lit up as I slammed the tray into its full upright position, revealing all 19 inches of my throbbing pillar of flesh accompanied by a wrinkled, unshaven ballsack hanging lopsidedly to the left, "I got a BAG right here! BLAM! IN YOUR FUCKING FACE NIGGER!!!"
I grabbed my cock by the hilt and jumped up out of my seat, swinging my bludgeon of earthly pleasure full into the face of the woman sitting next to me, knocking at least half her teeth out. One of the stupid cunt's snaggle teeth tore a vein in my cock and blood squirted everywhere, dousing eveyone in the immediate vicinity with HIV+ fluid. The stewardess screamed and started down the isle, but I grabbed her by the hair and yanked as hard as I could, causing her feet to go flying out from under her.
Everything was happening in slow motion, before her body hit the floor 3 or 4 men, maybe more, came rushing me down the isle from both directions. The floor was slick with my dong blood, causing the first guy to slip and fall face first into the stewardess. I laughed, then grabbed my scrotum and started to swing it. Slowly the skin stretched until my gigantic balls were spinning so fast it was a blur of pubes and sweat. With a grunt I heaved them into the man behind me, knocking him fully into his compartriots and sending them careening down the isle.
Then all hell broke loose.
There were bodies flying, people screaming, it was total chaos of the sort you only imagine in your darkest dreams. I rammed my girthy man pole into as many supple, ever-waiting buttholes as I could find in the pandemonium. My boner's skin was rubbed so raw that all my pores were oozing blood and puss, yet I continued to fuck with extreme prejudice. No race, no person, no orafice was safe, I counted at least 2 infants and 5 senile old fucks that got what was coming to them in the form of a 19 inch WMD.
For what seemed and eternity my hog slammed, rammed, crammed, and jammed its way through the teeming mass of bodies, sniffing out any nook or cranny that hadn't yet been filling to the brim. The screams of horror, the ghastly looks of death in the faces of those that died from the pleasure and the pain, the pleas for mercy, none of it phased me. Suddenly my substantially mammoth penis started for my own mouth, I screamed in protest but it was too late, my own helmet was already speeding down my throat. My belly swelled with jizz, then my whole body went hard as a I achieved the first ever full body erection. Leaving my throat, my boner cocked itself into a horizontal position, then slammed with the force of 14 mike tyson punches into my stomach, forcing the gallon of jizz out of my throat and through the ceiling of the plane.
Then everybody got sucked out into the air and that's all I remember until I woke up here, in this hospital bed. The end.
Title: attn: rob
Posted: July 15, 2009 (01:08 AM)
Title: oh come on
Posted: June 22, 2009 (03:04 AM)
the Doom bestiary is a great resource for modders and all, and some of the new monsters are incredible, but...
come the fuck on.
Title: fuck this site, I quit forever
Posted: June 14, 2009 (05:01 PM)
see you Tuesday.