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Hideo Kojima (a poem)
March 19, 2008

Ah, 2003! It was a time of reviewing madness and fun at gamefaqs. Reading Sashanan's recent blog spiel about MGS has inspired me to dig up this poem I posted on gamefaqs in 2003. And it's called,

- Hideo Kojima -

I met a guy
at the arcade
I had to ask him
what he made
of Hideo Kojima

'Hideo Kojima?' he exclaimed
'I hate that ass. Didn't he make Metal Gear Solid?
That game bored the crap out of me.'

That wasn't okay
my pulse was raised
so I said to this dude:

'Listen closely my friend,
it's not okay
in any way
to hate Hideo Kojima
BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST
THE BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST
HIDEO KOJIMA
FORGET THE REST'

Then I grabbed his lapels
and I threw him on the street
and I said:

'I'm gonna toss your arse in a cardboard box
and you're gonna crawl around my laser grid
in the women's toilet
while you're smoking twenty packs of cigarettes every day
and prissy chicks are lecturing you about smoking
and you're dying of lung cancer
and I'm targeting you with my sniping rifle

Then I'm gonna send you a love letter
straight from my heart, mother******!
This means a bullet from my sniping rifle!
And I know what you're thinking now
but unplugging your controller won't save you now
So what do you think about that?'

And he said to me, 'I think you should be in a mental institution.'

Most recent blog posts from Wade Clarke...

Feedback
Felix_Arabia Felix_Arabia - March 19, 2008 (07:31 AM)
I am speechless.
bluberry bluberry - March 19, 2008 (02:04 PM)
quaristice lol

but I do like rale and WNSN.
sashanan sashanan - March 19, 2008 (03:27 PM)
Lol. As you've noticed I'm not a particularly happy camper right now regarding MGS...
janus janus - March 24, 2008 (04:24 PM)
that sounds like it should be a pixies song.

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