I just submitted a review for Alone in the Dark, a wretched pile of filth I unfortunately spent fifty dollars on. I'll post a link once a staff member approves it.

EDIT: Enjoy.
Pointers and comments appreciated.


Anyway, how are you folks? It's been a while since many of us have spoken to one another.

I find it to be strikingly painful when I come across a game with such enthusiasm only to be let down with my face bashed against the rubble like a children's toy forgotten about after a shining afternoon's adventuring. As the storm clouds loom overhead and swirl together in a deafening chorus, it becomes clear that this night's proceedings will be of relentless disappointment. How shameful that after such a long wait, the hopes of a prospective fan are crushed so. I WANTED to enjoy Alone in...

Red Steel is a Japanese wannabe game whose play has an interesting metaphorical resemblance to a happy meal. There, I summed up everything you needed to know in one simple sentence. The sad truth being, that I'm really not kidding about this. You know how delicious that little tub of lard-glazed french fries looks when you're at your local heat-attack hut. That guy who photographs the hamburgers and tacos which you know will only hurt you in the end, does a beautiful job, and the deception t...