Pretentious Bastards Competition: Preemptive Trash Talk
April 15, 2009

I have an idea. It is for an obscure game, oh yes. It is for what is most certainly a better obscure game than whatever you have. But it was popular once, so the series is sort of about a popular game too, so all you people writing for that, know I have you blanketed there, too.

It will release pent-up frustration, creativity(see: my reviews where I can't find much to say about garden variety old school games,) and outrage over how the game did not have enough sequels. It will roast modern games. It will roast the games in the series that didn't work. It will be about old games, what works, and what does not.

And it will leave other reviewers weeping that they cannot reach the soaring heights of allegory, satire, metaphysics, and good old fashioned humor therein. Some, it will motivate them to be half as good as. Others will be shattered, realizing the Sisyphean task it would be to create something vaguely comparable.

And oh yes, of course it will be about life in general. But it will contain such telling details that the competition judges will spontaneously stand and applaud from their seats, wishing misty-eyed that the HGWars rules be changed so I can thump them once more for old times' sake, because gosh darn it, they will know I have gained the right to that. And to referring increasingly to myself in the third person.

*and it's actually only 20% done now, which is behind schedule, but I needed to motivate myself. I'd feel embarrassed if I didn't back up my words.

Most recent blog posts from Andrew Schultz...

EmP EmP - April 15, 2009 (09:35 AM)
I finished mine ages ago. I may write another two then decide which I'm going to go with.

All three would be able to win on the own.
JANUS2 JANUS2 - April 15, 2009 (10:00 AM)
I wish I could still beat Aschultz for massive XP boosts.

I haven't written anything yet. I'm too busy leveling up.
aschultz aschultz - April 15, 2009 (09:32 PM)
EmP attempted a swipe at ASchultz's writing skills, but his sentence contained a bad typo and missed feebly! ASchultz struck back decisively, with a deadly nonsequitur incorporating current celebrity gossip, leading to devastating application of a catch phrase at its peak in popularity. It should come as no surprise that ASchultz walked away the winner and went on to more glorious writing conquests. EmP, however, put down his pen and wallowed in the easy SuDoKu puzzles found at
wolfqueen001 wolfqueen001 - April 15, 2009 (09:36 PM)
XD Win.

I'm still going to try and enter this... I... don't have a lot of time left. But I really want to do the idea I have in mind, if I can pull it off right, because it's really interesting (at least to me).
zippdementia zippdementia - April 16, 2009 (11:37 AM)
Did you ever play Zork Nemesis, Aschultz?
aschultz aschultz - April 16, 2009 (12:04 PM)
Never got around to it. I tried Zork Zero and Zork the Undiscovered Underground. I'd be interested in it, but I don't know where to find the game. What's your opinion of it?

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