About Me: Sorry, but I haven't yet shared the information about myself that would typically display here. Check back later to see if that changes, or if I instead choose to remain an enigma.

Ok, so this is nothing new, but I only now got around to griping publicly about it.

Call of Duty: Black Ops is not a great game, despite what all the expensive advertising (Kobe Bryant and Jimmy Kimmel like it--it must be good!) will try to tell you. And all the pro gaming mags and sites. 9/10? Ridiculous. The game is NOWHERE as good as Modern Warfare 2. Like, it's not even close.

It doesn't look as good. The characters have big heads in the single player campaign. In multiplayer, you get this sense that you're controlling toy soldiers on a play battlefield. That's not good.

More importantly, the single player campaign is hella boring. Surely this is due in small part to my playing too many of these sorts of games in a short space of time. Might be all "FPS'ed out." Might be.

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Seriously.

The idea of playing it is pretty exciting, but already the game is quite a bit less compelling than the first.

Despite the fact that the original deteriorated into a dressed up fetch quest, it began as an engaging tour of wonderland.

BioShock 2 doesn't.

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"Hmm... I don't have to contribute to this in any way to advance, do I?

And yet--I feel bad. Like I'm not pulling my weight. And nobody likes a wallflower.

I'll fire a couple grenades into a crowd, you know, just to keep busy.

There."

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Okay, so when you're drinking, you want to drink more--I get that, and I'm okay with it. Occasionally, I can actually fight the compulsion to keep going. What I can NEVER fight, is the compulsion to eat like a champ (or chump, really).

Last night I had two massive homeburgers from this greasy spoon and paid for it this morning in spades. But!! The good news is that I have the recovery down to a science.

Wake up early, drink pop to ensure that the nausea feeling manifests as burps; allot time for at least a couple good trips to the can (hence the waking up early); take a nice shower only after having completed the final dump.

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Seriously.

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Follow the Bouncing Boobs or Purple Haze

If you haven’t played this game the way it was meant to be played (read: as Ninja Gaiden 2 on the Xbox 360), then the underwhelming nature of this PS3 port will be easier to stomach.

But wait! you balk, incredulous. Doesn’t this version feature not only superninja Ryu Hayabusa, but busty and leatherclad Rachel, and busty newcomer ninjas Ayane and Momji – as playable characters in their own unique missions? Yes, it does. And indeed, you can induce eerie boob undulations even when the girls’ chests should be at rest.

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So I'm playing BioShock. And it's really cool. The world is something else. I'd have to say that so far it isn't as compelling as System Shock 2, but that doesn't make it a massive failure -- SS2 is one of the best games evar. Anyway, I hope to be done with it by week's end. And then, the inevitable review.

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