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Posted: March 11, 2012 (10:48 AM)
None of our hardware is getting any younger.
In preparation for Wolfqueen's upcoming AlphabetOlympics tournament I delved into available game choices and arrived at one: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. Reliving it these past few days has been a blast, and I had nearly beaten the game with Bob Burnquist, with only the pro-score tape in San Francisco and a medal at Roswell left on my immediate agenda.
But then.... just now... a memory card read error, and the save has disappeared. Well, shit.
It's time to dust myself off and try again.
Users with accounts on the HonestGamers site are able to contribute reviews and occasionally other types of content. Below, you'll find excerpts from as many as 20 of the most recent articles posted by Leroux. Be sure to leave some feedback if you find anything interesting!
New Super Mario Bros. U isn't just a bad title for a game but a misnomer as well.
It is a timeless wrestling game -- one with a still faithful following, one with a generation of devotees steadfast that it has not yet been eclipsed -- that reminds us how mortal we are.
With all respects to Ms. Pac-Man, you've heard of Donkey Kong Junior because it is perhaps the first great sequel to advance the original concept, cleverly reworking the formula while at the same time feeling immediately familiar to dedicated Donkey Kong players.
Thunder Force AC got things backwards. It is a book based on a movie. It went straight to DVD, only to be released in theaters the next year.
Somewhere in between things got goofy. Somehow between the two titans, the earth and the heavens, there were noxious fumes in the atmosphere. Some time in 1988, there was Vigilante.
Like Kung Food, Dirty Larry compensates with enough health that you can get lucky and progress through much of the game. Both are examples of games that are fundamentally poor and have used above average size lifebars to try to hide the damning facts, that hits on opponents often don't register and situations they create incur unavoidable damage on the player. Both are barebones concept games with zero creativity after the initial concept and failed execution throughout.
Kung Food is recommended if your only system is the Atari Lynx.
Bloopers. Boos. Piranha plants and goombas. All four encapsulated foes will fall from the skies as an especially pudgy rendition of Mario attempts to sort the baddies’ landing spots upon four separate platters below, his outstretched arms holding any two adjacent columns and a tap of either action button switching the stacks. Match the free-falling type with the type it lands atop and both will disappear, leaving more breathing room beneath the top barrier as the next pair, or on higher lev...
Witness earthen bridges over lava fields lined with flame throwing hazards and enormous wasps that spew out a skull carved into a jungle cliff. Shotgun-toting Bonebreaker miniatures rove the inside of Magneto’s lair while stone statues carrying massive scythes animate deep in a ruin. While the dialog detracts from the production value – Magneto’s famous “Welcome to Die!” as he blasts apart a waterfall-side ledge just one egregious example – it is just as likely you find it kitschy as a f...
What ensues is a left to right adventure where Billy, and optionally Jimmy, will match fists with an alarming number of people that have no need for shirts with sleeves. During the first stage, a woman in purple spandex emerges from a doorway cracking a whip. A gargantuan mountain of a man crashes through a brick wall looking to kick your ass. A gang member whips out a knife to sling, which Billy can block, pick up, and fire right back at his throat. Every beat ‘em up for years after copied t...
The simplicity cannot be understated or overstated. But for the first time, an underdog hero seemed to emerge, someone with realistic means of disposing of obstacles and limited skill in a world then dominated by spaceships and yellow gobbling monsters. He’s a modest man; there’s nothing super about Mario at this point. It is with wit and cunning that he perseveres, predicting when a barrel is coming, alert of their dangerous potential shortcuts down ladders, and in tune with all his hazardou...
Russell's quote rings true in this instance too; if Pong never caught on, we’d simply be crediting a different title for introducing the product to the market, perhaps even a better title. Thank Asteroids, or Joust, or Defender. The entrepreneurs that tried to bring video games to the mainstream – your Bushnells and Baers – were determined men. Many of them dropped out of schools and mortgaged their futures on the hunch that this would become a viable medium...
In R-Shark the background scrolls to the right but the bullet remains on screen, keeping the same trajectory. The results are utterly bizarre. Weaving through waves and flurries of enemy fire, enemy ammunitions fly yet “flutter” like pitched knuckleballs, the swaying background tricking the eye into thinking their trajectory is shifting with your craft. But it’s not. Your craft shifts the background, but isn’t shifting with the background. And the bullets aren’t shifting at al...
Spawned from the calamity came The Punisher, forever replacing our blue-collar "everyday hero" with a hell-bent, vengeance-seeking vigilante. This antihero is not out fighting for the common good; he's fighting against the vile criminals that took away his family, utilizing any means necessary to do so. Should a few distressed damsels be rescued and precious ecosystems be saved in the process, then that's okay too. It's just not the primary concern here; igniting gun-toting gangste...
It is Jackson Pollock, wildly throwing colors against canvas and seeing what sticks. “He should fight a bulldozer.” “He should fight TWO tanks.” “These mutants need more body armor!” No outlandish idea was held back; creative expression trumped programming limitations and established good-gaming practices. “Let’s make him swing from the underside of ledges.” “Let’s make the plane he’s fighting atop do barrel rolls.” “Is there any way we can add more f...
Take from it whatever preposterous character, whatever outrageous scene, whatever moment of sheer stereotypical brilliance you want. Pick a stray hammer up off the street to boost your high score! Partake in the greatest mini game ever: BREAK CAR!, where you attempt to obliterate a gang member’s wheels with a steel pipe within a thirty second time limit. Fight a never-ending onslaught of unforgettable attackers for the most just and noble of causes: the life of a pretty young girl, the li...
Not only that, it succeeded: whereas the “technically brilliant” titles of yesteryear now wallow in their “good for their time” dubiety, Altered Beast remains the same guilty pleasure it always has. Undoubtedly, I think it was its vision all along to become the cheesy cult-classic of the video game world, to be so exuberantly, intriguingly ridiculous it would never be forgotten. Keep laughing at the thought, the absurd notion its lambasted legacy has only helped it become what it...
Game: 64th Street: A Detective Story (Miscellaneous)
Posted: September 26, 2010 (11:26 AM)
Meet private investigator Rick and his partner Allen, two rough-and-tumble sleuths who defiantly unsubscribe from the traditional detective stereotype. Look no further than their appearance: the mustachioed Rick rocks a violet dress shirt, dandelion tie and burnt orange trousers, while the much younger Allen prefers more discreet attire, accentuating his white tank top and blue denim jeans with a stylish maroon vest. This pairing doesn’t exactly conduct investigations by combing over crime sce...
In the military, it’s a type of inspection you don’t want to fail. In competition, it means you’re playing without advantages normally at your disposal. With “of the law”, it is the unbearable barb of the headline writer after a police force lifts its height restriction.
Pong is lionized. Space Invaders is romanticized. Asteroids is marginalized.