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JoeTheDestroyer JoeElDestroyer

Obviously, if I have a profile on this site, it means that I play video games. I also happen to write, and the two have made a harmonious combination for a hobby. I mainly write FAQs and reviews, and *try* to stick to one of these categories:

-RPG and non-linear adventure games
-Anything with horror or b-movie elements
-Anything unique, obscure, or just plain weird

Sounds broad, but it also means you probably won't see a Super Mario Bros. 3 review from me any time soon.

Title: FAQ proofreading hurts
Posted: December 19, 2010 (03:58 PM)
Currently proofreading my FAQ for WWF Smackdown! 2: Know Your Role. Holy fucking dogshit sandwich, proofreading sucks my ass. Why can't I just be a perfect writer and get it all right the first time?
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Title: Reeeeejected!
Posted: December 17, 2010 (06:39 AM)
Submitted a short story to Cutting Block Press about six months ago and finally got the rejection notice. I knew it was coming. Finding a market for this story has been tough, and CBP was a stretch. I've considered self-publishing, but I'm still wary about that.
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Title: I've chosen my AO game...
Posted: December 15, 2010 (06:46 PM)
I wrote four new reviews, each for a game starting with W, for AlphabetOlympics, and one has finally been chosen of the four.

I've decided to go with Wizards and Warriors on NES. The other three--WWF Betrayal, Wario Land, and We Love Katamari--will be submitted at a later time.
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Title: Reconfigured my "to-beat" list
Posted: November 29, 2010 (01:27 AM)
Currently at 147 games, and this is including physical and downloaded games (Virtual Console, WiiWare, PSN, and Steam), but not including emulated games. Otherwise, my list would probably take a couple weeks to write. I also don't plan on playing every game I download. I think I'm going on a buying freeze for a while, or at least until I get gift cards for Christmas. I know I'm getting some Amazon ones a little while afterward, and those will probably go to some RPG goodness.
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Title: Putting the finishing touches on my Dragon's Curse walkthrough
Posted: November 21, 2010 (01:58 AM)
I've forgotten just how much a walkthrough can really burn you out on a game. I have a feeling before long I'm going to hate the game that I had just reviewed at a 9. The next FAQ I have in mind........a Dragon's Curse Item FAQ. Thankfully, I already have all the info I need. I am not just going to C&P from my walkthrough, but actually write new info. That will be the last DC FAQ I will ever do. No. More.

Now, let's just hope I don't start hating the Soul Blazer trilogy. They're the next in line for a good, hard FAQing!

In other news, I recently saw The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Aw... Silent awesomeness! If you like silent era horror flicks, check this one out. German expressionism FTW!
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Title: November Update
Posted: November 08, 2010 (04:14 AM)
-New Super Castlevania IV Boss FAQ on the way out.

-Proofreading my Clash at Demonhead FAQ/Walkthrough.

-Working on revamped reviews for Silent Hill and Clash at Demonhead.

-I have a brand spanking new review I've written that's almost done. I'm actually afraid to submit it, not because it's that good, but because it's something I've never done before. Either I'll be told not to do it again, or I'll receive some praise for it. It's for Dragon's Curse on TG16.
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Title: NaNoWriMo
Posted: November 05, 2010 (06:26 AM)
Anyone participating in it this year, or have you participated before? I had originally planned to, but I already had a novel started that I don't want to abandon. I'm hoping to get this one published, possibly with a local publishing company, though Spokane doesn't seem to be interested in anything spooky or weird, which this one definitely is.

Title: After a decade of dedicated service, I have retired my PC gamepad
Posted: November 01, 2010 (09:09 PM)
Around the time I started going to college, I decided it was time to upgrade from the uncomfortable contraption I was using for a gamepad--one that looked like a Batarang--for something more comfortable and with more buttons. I learned from this experience to avoid Gravis gamepads like the plague, as I bought yet another that didn't work.

Instead, I shelled out the extra money and yielded to the might of a Saitek P750. That controller and I saw many reviews, many FAQs, and many questionable downloads together.

I had recently dug it out of the garage so I could start using my computer for emulation again when I noticed that it wasn't doing too well. It was having fits of not being recognized by the computer, even with the proper drivers. I noticed that its cord was starting to come loose from all the years of danging from other computers.

I decided today was the day to euthanize my beloved P750 in favor of a Logitech Dual Action. It was either that or the severely overpriced 360 controls that Microsoft makes. Believe me, the choice wasn't a difficult one. At least now I can actually play games on my computer again without having to use the cumbersome keyboard. I'm glad the new controller works well and even feels more comfortable than the old P750

RIP Saitek P750. You have served me well.
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Title: Updatey update
Posted: October 24, 2010 (05:14 AM)
Nothing much going on. I've finished my first draft for a Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold review (remake) and have done some principal playing so I can start my Illusion of Gaia review. Still doing some principal playing for Beyond Oasis so I can start that review as well.

In other writing news, I've abandoned one novel to write another. The last one I was writing just wasn't working out. Writing it felt more like a foced labor, and I never like for a project to feel like that. This one has taken on a very strange form. I think it'll shine more after a second draft, and a very long and laborious one at that. Other than that, I'm going to start my second draft for a short story I wrote last month called "6.5". Here's hoping that works out.
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Title: Game impressions part 1- Freebies and Demos
Posted: October 15, 2010 (01:34 AM)
As you may recall, I downloaded Steam not long ago. I've since downloaded a lot of free games, demos, and even bought some other games. The only game I've purchased that I haven't tried so far is Titan Quest, which I picked up tonight. Just thought I'd give some early impressions (not reviews, mind, but impressions) of what I've played.

The Graveyard (demo): The first demo I downloaded is beautifully dark and artsy, but let's face it, it's not really a game. You guide an old lady through a graveyard (and by guide, I really mean "patiently wait for her to hobble her wrinkly ass over to the bench"), listen to a song, then leave the cemetery. For $5, you get an extra scene in which she dies. Honestly, I don't feel like it's worth the extra five bucks to find out what that's like. It thinks outside the box, sure, but it's not very fun.

Coil: You can actually play this as a flash game. I can't remember what website. Playing as a sperm, and subsequently as a zygote and fetus, is quite different. There's a lot of variety to the game, and a rather intriguing "plot," but like sex it's over in five minutes and leaves something to be desired.

Loki (demo): It certainly is a gorgeous game. Couldn't tell you how well it played, as I never got past the load screen. Apparently, I'm not the only one with this problem. I have a pretty powerful computer, so I know it wasn't that. I look at it this way: if a company can't make a stable demo, what makes me think the full game will be any good? Combine that with the low Metacritic score and my decision on this game is to just avoid it.

Depths of Peril: Think of that name being attached to a Diablo clone. You might think it to be dark, demonic, and full of constant clicking. Really, the game uses way too cheery looking, moves quite slowly, and has a very dull battle system like a dumbed down Baldur's Gate. Instead of constant clicking, you click on an enemy and watch your beefcake go to work. I suppose that beats the constant clicking, but it feels out of place. The name belies the environment and atmosphere. I look at the bright and colorful environment and ask, "Is this 'Depths of Peril' or 'Adventures in Fairyland?'" Slow combat, sugary graphics, and the fact that the developers make a quest out of the most asinine things leads me to believe this game is best left alone.

Trine- A side scrolling platformer with gorgeous graphics and a solid narrative. It almost reminds me of The Lost Vikings. There are obvious differences, but the gameplay is a bit similar. The game really promotes brain usage, which is good. Unfortunately, the frustration factor is also quite high, and the combat leaves something to be desired. I'll probably snag it when it's on sale.

As for the games I've purchased--Arx Fatalis, Deus Ex GOTY, Freedom Fighters, and Titan Quest--you'll hear about those in a different post.
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Title: Tiny update
Posted: October 11, 2010 (03:30 AM)
Just announcing/warning that my Sea Monster review from GameFAQs is headed over, with slight revampings. It's not one of my better reviews, but it is what it is.

That and just saying that the girl on the cover of the Math Gran Prix game is absolutely terrifying. I imagine she's going to eat the poor other child on the cover.
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Title: Writing and more writing
Posted: October 07, 2010 (04:15 AM)
Reviews will probably be trickling out at this point. I'm working on a new novel. No, this doesn't mean I've published one before, though I have two I still need to touch up and publish, as well as a bunch of short stories. Still waiting to hear back from Cutting Block Press on one short I sent them.

I have several reviews I want to do as well:
Fate (PC)
Shootanto (Wii)
Machine Head (PS)
Illusion of Gaia (SNES)
Bomberman (NES)

EDIT:
The review for Fate is up.
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Title: Recommended games for Steam?
Posted: October 01, 2010 (11:59 PM)
I've decided to join 2007 and get Steam. I'm planning on dl'ing Deus Ex and Arx Fatalis, but am overwhelmed by the large number of games I don't recognize. Any recommendations?

Title: On to the next one...
Posted: September 30, 2010 (03:49 AM)
Holding off on the Just Cause review for a little while. I'm still trying to touch up some of my old reviews from GameFAQs. Some of them will be rough in the transfer, but others I think will come out okay. I just turned one in for Video Pinball, and have another coming for Kick Master, as well as one I was working on before coming here for Flinstones: The Rescue of Dino and Hoppy on NES.

In other news, I just saw Let the Right One In. Pretty good vampire flick. To clarify, that's Let the Right One In and not its remake Let Me In. I do plan to see that eventually, too.
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Title: Did some bargain binning
Posted: September 29, 2010 (02:58 AM)
I love grabbing games for under $5, even if I know more than half of them will be crap. Spent about $30 and came home with:

Fantavision
Medal of Honor: Frontline (Xbox)
McFarlane's Evil Prophecy
Zapper
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
Virtua Fighter 4
Dragonball Z Sagas (PS2)

I've heard little good about any of the above. Maybe they'll inspire some reviews out of me.
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