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JoeTheDestroyer JoeElDestroyer

Obviously, if I have a profile on this site, it means that I play video games. I also happen to write, and the two have made a harmonious combination for a hobby. I mainly write FAQs and reviews, and *try* to stick to one of these categories:

-RPG and non-linear adventure games
-Anything with horror or b-movie elements
-Anything unique, obscure, or just plain weird

Sounds broad, but it also means you probably won't see a Super Mario Bros. 3 review from me any time soon.

Title: Update--3/1/11
Posted: March 01, 2011 (09:04 PM)
Just a few small things I want to mention:

-Still doing Alpha Marathon reviews, and next in line is Q (for Quattro Adventure). I originally wanted to do Red Dead Revolver for R, but that one will have to wait.

-I intend to start doing a series of reviews revolving around daikaiju (Japanese for "giant monster") like Godzilla, Gamera, etc. I've already done one for Godzilla: Monster of Monsters, and intend to do one for the C64 Godzilla and a Gameboy Gamera game.

-I had my reviews for Clash at Demonhead and The Magic of Scheherazade removed from GameFAQs and had them turned into exclusives here. I may be doing this with more reviews in the future as well.
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Title: The Void makes me want to set myself on fire
Posted: February 26, 2011 (03:50 AM)
Ever seen that game, The Void, on Steam, waiting for your download? It's a nasty little first-person adventure game that's basically like Clive Barker took a shit on Okami. My main problem with it is the difficulty.

Yeah, a gaming masochist complaining about difficulty.

This game utilizes "color." You pick up colored plants and allocate the different colors to life vessels called hearts. When you step out of a level you go into a world map called The Void where your life depletes rapidly. This causes your color to convert to a different kind of color called nerva, which can be used to fight, cast spells and feed sparkling naked women with British accents. Feed them enough and they'll give you some goodies: access to new levels, more hearts, new spells which are cast by drawing runes.

Problem is that the game is ultra-reliant on color. Guess what you don't get a whole lot of?

Time in The Void is measured in cycles. When you step outside, a counter slips backwards from 99, and upon reaching 0 will begin a new cycle. Colors will respawn in certain areas, but sure as hell not enough to survive another full cycle, or to just barely enough to survive the cycle.

You can invest your color by using a spell to revive trees or using a couple other spells to tap some color mines. The returns at first are wonderful. After drawing color about two or three times, you'll start to get next to nothing back. The trees and mines only work well if you let them sit for a few cycles, which you cannot afford.

Don't even get me started on the spells and their inability to work half the time. At times you want to use a spell to drop a little color on the ground and attract a firefly to nibble on it. While it's nibbling away, you can then sneak up on it and grab it for beaucoup color. Trouble is you wind up drawing the damn rune about 55 times before it actually works, and then half the time the firefly will see you and run away, resulting in wasted nerva.

If any of this made any sense to you, you might want to see a shrink. I'm really not sure how I feel about this game. It's unique, but its ideas are far from original. They're older ideas dressed up in poetic prose and sexual undertones to look new. At times the game is fun, at other times you want to skin yourself alive and jump into a pool of salt.
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Title: It seems like I see new names on the New Users list all the time...
Posted: February 23, 2011 (01:00 AM)
...but I seldom see new users. I think the last couple to really come out of the woodwork, even if for a short while, were Ninjamohawk and Pai May. Do all these new users lurk? Do they stick primarily to rating games?

Ah, curiosity...
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Title: I finally finished Red Dead Revolver
Posted: February 13, 2011 (11:17 PM)
Review forthcoming. My opinion has not changed--save your money and don't waste energy trying to track this one down for a cheap price. You're better off either getting Red Dead Redemption (only saying this based on what others have told me) or Max Payne. Revolver and Payne are quite similar, except Payne doesn't suck.
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Title: Dear god, I've seen further into the dark realm...
Posted: February 07, 2011 (03:02 PM)
EmP brought up an interesting fact about Hydlide: there are several other games in that series (yes, there's an actual series) in two other generations. While I haven't gotten to the other generations yet, I did download an MSX emulator and played Hydlide 2 and 3.

Yes, I downloaded an MSX emulator just to play two likely awful games.

I will say, though, that they're not as bad as the original.

In Hydlide 2:
-There are actual townsfolk you can talk to and buy items from.
-You can create your character and customize their starting stats.
-You don't have to hold down the attack button and bump into enemies. Simply pushing button 1 switches you between "defend" and "attack" modes. You still have to bump into enemies, though.
-The world is covered with farmers, mages, knights and such all just wandering around. You can murder these people for experience and money.
-You get another stat called "forth" which is basically like karma in Fallout. Murdering innocents will drop your forth, causing shop owners to not sell you any goods. This also denies you access to certain areas.
-HP takes way longer to restore.

Hydlide 3:
-There's an actual attack animation!
-There are full scale towns!
-The game still sucks!
-I could not find a save option. I believe you have one life to win at this game, unless there's a save point that I missed. Probably in the town.
-Leveling up is weird. You have to level up at a shrine, but to do so you need enough experience. So you have to go out and kill enough enemies to gain enough experience, then use the experience like money a the shrine to gain a level. Sounds redundant; it would have been better had they stuck with the older format of leveling up.

Bottom line: both games are still awful. They're just not godawful.
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Title: Now and Later
Posted: January 31, 2011 (12:12 PM)
Rough weekend, what with my wife having been in the hospital. Things are good though, they're discharging her today. I just hope my job will allow me to have a few extra hours off so I can get her home safely.

I've also decided upon some of my next reviews. Expect to see a resub/slight rewrite of my GF review of Eternal Sonata (X360) and a brand spankin' new rev for Super Meat Boy (PC).
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Title: I'm persistent, and maybe that's my downfall.
Posted: January 21, 2011 (01:48 AM)
I've been suffering through Red Dead Revolver for the last couple weeks. I'm finding it quite tedious, repetitive, and sometimes even ridiculous and sloppy. It's stable and playable, but holy shit is it boring. I'm at a point where I want to just stop playing the game, but the voices in my head want me to keep playing and finish it, then possibly write a review for it.

What I'm mainly curious about is how connected this one is to Redemption. Is there a whole lot that carries over from Revolver to Redemption?
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Title: Next reviews...
Posted: January 15, 2011 (06:44 AM)
...are going to be:

WWF: Betrayal (GBC)- A dull brawler staring WWF/E wrestlers from the late 90's. Yes, this is a game where you can punch a hooker in the face and still not have a good time.

Cave Story (Wii)- Quite possibly the only WiiWare game worth downloading.
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Title: Haha... No year in review for me.
Posted: January 10, 2011 (05:46 PM)
I haven't even been here a full year yet. If you click on my review section and look at every review in there except for 8 Eyes, Archon and my recent Muppets game, you'll see my year in review.
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Title: I would enjoy the game Sacred a lot more...
Posted: January 08, 2011 (02:11 AM)
if it weren't so overloaded with goblins that aren't fun to fight. Especially the goblin shamans.
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Title: Steam sales end tomorrow :(
Posted: January 02, 2011 (04:40 PM)
Not that I need to buy more games on Steam. Hoo...

Did anyone snag any of the cheap games off Steam? I think I way overspent, but that's okay. I still have all my bills paid.

I was able to snag:
Alpha Protocol
Archon Classic
Clive Barker's Jericho
Culpa Innata
Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time
Greed Corp
Greed: Black Border
Grotesque Tactics: Evil Heroes
Heretic: Shadow of the Serpent Riders
The Maw
The Misadventures of PB Winterbottom
Proto Galaxy
Puzzle Bots
Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl
Sacred (Gold edition)
Shattered Horizon
Silverfall: Earth Awakening
Super Meat Boy
The Void
World of Goo
Zeno Clash

So yeah, damn near 30 games, some of which were under $1, and I don't think I paid more than $10 per game.
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Title: My first review of 2011 shall be...
Posted: January 02, 2011 (01:56 AM)
8 Eyes (NES). Let my reign of terror continue! Mwahahahahahaha!
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Title: So I'm playing through Super Meat Boy...
Posted: December 30, 2010 (03:49 AM)
...and I wonder if it's possible to hate every level of a game, but still love the game. Seriously, every level makes me want to punch babies, they're so infuriating. But god, is the game addictive.
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Title: The kinda, sorta obligatory "What the hell did you get for Christmas" topic.
Posted: December 24, 2010 (11:19 PM)
I know it's early, but my wife and I already got to do some opening at her dad's place. We got a Canon digital camera with an 8 GB SD Card. I have many other things to open here and at my parents' place tomorrow. Oh, it shall be a great harvest. Mwahahahahahah!

Title: Really GameFAQs? Majora's Mask is "Game of the Decade"?
Posted: December 23, 2010 (12:03 PM)
I know it's not official yet, but it's pretty damn close. It's between that and Super Smash Bros. Melee, which is more fitted for the title. While I don't mind Majora's Mask, I felt it was a far cry from "Game of the Decade". A very far cry in fact.
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