We've removed ads and are looking to Patreon to secure revenue so we can grow. Please pledge support today!
Google+   Facebook button  Twitter button 
3DS | DS | PS3 | PS4 | PSP | VITA | WII | WIIU | X360 | XB1 | All
Ka-Ge-Ki: Fists of Steel (Genesis) artwork

Ka-Ge-Ki: Fists of Steel (Genesis) review


"Let’s not drag this out too much, it hurts. "



Let’s not drag this out too much, it hurts.

Ka Ge Ki: Fists of Steel is a Pit Fighter-esque beat-‘em-up, replacing the cliché strongmen and kickboxing champions with your Puerto Rican hero, out to spoil the party of some Japanese bullies. For some reason, they’ve kidnapped some shorthaired dame and carried her to the top of a building. I know what you’re thinking: there’s no escape from the top of a building! It’s the end of the line! But logic is not an issue here.

On each floor of this devastated edifice awaits a set of non-threatening goofballs looking to tap-dance about your face. Irritatingly tiny and disproportionately large-skulled, these moronic pushovers rely exclusively on just one move: the quick punch.

You, the undaunted conqueror, have twice that. The standard quick-fire jab, and the wait awhile, staring blankly at your opponent while getting dreamy-eyed, then throw a stronger punch tactic. Is the time it takes to ‘charge-up’ this heavier-hitting blow an even exchange for the increased damage it will deal?

It doesn’t really matter, because you can manipulate your opponent’s movements so that they walk directly into your fist. Back-peddle, and as the fool dumbly follows you, commit to your ‘takes forever’ blow. By the time he catches up to you, he’ll be greeting your knuckles. Land two of these, or a series of the quick strikes, and he’ll be on the floor.

And then, he won’t get up.

He’s still not getting up.

Oh, God, it’s awkward.

But he’s twitching. He’s not dead.

Did I remember to pay the phone bill?

He’s alive!

The price you pay for knocking these dumbasses off their feet is that they won’t return upright for what feels like millennia. In the meantime, they’ll yell things in “digitized” incoherent spurts, such as “UhhhhhuuHhhhuHHuHH!” and “Hey, le’sh figh!”

On the other hand, what Ka Ge Ki does offer (aside from horrible attempts at sound effects, downright insultingly thin gameplay, and an idiotic variety of Asian opponents who, for the most part, look more like handicapped gameshow hosts than “warriors”) is a terrible attempt at psuedo-three dimensional fighting. Instead of simple left-to-right movement, you can actually move ‘north’ and ‘south’ around the rooms, and your Puerto Rican will rotate around the opponent, remaining facing him. The animation and character models become downright silly at this point. Outstretch your arm in attempt to punch an enemy ‘below’ or ‘above’ you, and watch as your character’s arm gets long and stringy. I don’t know, don’t ask me. Being knocked down at this angle reveals that your arms are the length of a gorilla’s. It’s like he becomes some sort of foreign Stretch Armstrong or something.

I don’t have much else to say. Play Ka Ge Ki for one reason: watch the session of grab-ass that occurs following the 9 fights. It’s not funny. It’s more sad and depraved than anything.

But I can think of no other reason, and there’s a reason for everything.

Rating: 1/10

dogma's avatar
Community review by dogma (August 12, 2009)

A bio for this contributor is currently unavailable, but check back soon to see if that changes. If you are the author of this review, you can update your bio from the Settings page.

More Reviews by dogma
Major League Baseball 2K10 (Xbox 360) artwork
Major League Baseball 2K10 (Xbox 360)

When batting, you will have to be patient in identifying pitches, rather than taking a rip at everything thrown. Pitchers often straddle the outer-edge of the strikezone, and a batter caught trying to pull a ball way out there will often tap weak grounders to the pitcher and second baseman.
The Bigs 2 (Xbox 360) artwork
The Bigs 2 (Xbox 360)

TB2 is all spectacle, but it’s well done. Gargantuan sluggers take powerful rips at incoming pitches, practically jumping out of their cleats; pitchers throw fastballs almost exclusively in the triple digits and curveballs with such acute breaks that head-high tosses end up low and outside. Line drives scream from the ...
Major League Baseball 2K9 (Xbox 360) artwork
Major League Baseball 2K9 (Xbox 360)

In short, your hopes are strung along at first by a satisfactory visual presentation, with the telecast handled by two well-known baseball buffoons. It feels reasonably similar to a day at the park.

Feedback

If you enjoyed this Ka-Ge-Ki: Fists of Steel review, you're encouraged to discuss it with the author and with other members of the site's community. If you don't already have an HonestGamers account, you can sign up for one in a snap. Thank you for reading!

You must be signed into an HonestGamers user account to leave feedback on this review.

Info | Help | Privacy Policy | Contact | Links

eXTReMe Tracker
© 1998-2014 HonestGamers
None of the material contained within this site may be reproduced in any conceivable fashion without permission from the author(s) of said material. This site is not sponsored or endorsed by Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Microsoft, or any other such party. Ka-Ge-Ki: Fists of Steel is a registered trademark of its copyright holder. This site makes no claim to Ka-Ge-Ki: Fists of Steel, its characters, screenshots, artwork, music, or any intellectual property contained within. Opinions expressed on this site do not necessarily represent the opinion of site staff or sponsors.