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EVE Online: Second Genesis (PC) artwork

EVE Online: Second Genesis (PC) review

"Eve Online "

Eve Online
A Review By Someone Who Has Actually Played The Game

If you were to ask me to describe Eve Online in one word, it would be "large". Everything in the game is daunting. From the scale of the map, to the scale of the ships, to the pockets of the majority of the normal players, to the learning curve, to the size of the player groups, to the amount of lag and the amount of time and kind of mindset you'll need in order to actually enjoy and understand the game. Eve isn't for everyone, if you're looking for a simple, coddling, button mashing idiot-quest where NPCs are your deadliest foes and the thought you need to put in is beyond minimal, then go away. If takes a manner of mental maturity to play. And that's not saying we don't have our youngin's, but you actually need to think to get ahead in the game. Darwin, ftfw.

Eve has a lot of downtime, sure, a lot of waiting until you actually hit the meat of the game. Frankly, I enjoy that filter. It forces you to think and make your decisions. Early in the game is boring, sure, you're not meant to be in the biggest and baddest ship with the shiniest of gear after week 1. This is not that kind of game, and if you can't be patient and wait for what you want, then see you later. Simple fact, the way the skill tree is setup protects the older players. However, in the light of the multiplayer aspect and learning curve, you truly are better off flying a smaller, weaker ship until you legitimately work up to a larger one. I'll explain below.

Eve truly is a multiplayer game. Sure you can go solo, but you're wasting 90% of the game. You need a gang to get anything done. You need a group of people to get anywhere substantial and meaningful. You need to be able to work with others towards a common goal. All of these add a dynamic to the game and give validity to the skill training regime. In fleets you are mixed. You need your smaller ships to keep the enemies on the field, and when you have that accomplished your big boys start dishing out the pain. You need these mixed fleets, and keeping the younger folks in the smaller ships is the only way to manage that.

Now, the human thing to do is to get into a larger and seemingly 'better' ship from the get go. Which is fine, minus the fact that your skills to support such a ship are non existent and you just became a liability to the fleet as a whole. The skill system let's you train directly for said shiny and big ship, and then punishes you for making you worthless in it and probably wasting your money when you get killed. No one said the learning curve was easy. So, without the skills to properly fly the big ship, you don't have the skills to properly fund the replacement of said ship, and thus, the game teaches you to do things the right way, and work your way up, in both SP (skillpoints) and flight experience.

Oh no, a game that forces players to think instead of handing them everything. That must mean it's an evil game, since we all want instant gratification on anything we do. QQ moar. Eve is harsh, you lose your stuff when you die, you have to work for it again, you really do suck when you start out and the only way to get better is wait and keep trying. Apparently hard = bad.

Ok, back to the actual game. The UI really does kind of suck. I'll be honest, it could be better, but you soon learn your way around it, and navigating the thing while zipping around in what could be described as a "flying coffin" becomes more of an art form than many give credit too. Sure, it's all clicking, and lots of it, but the ability to fly tends to weigh in just as heavily as the amount of SP or isk (cash) someone has. Some may or may not enjoy this, then again, Eve is a niche game, and we don't mind if you take your things and leave.

No, I'm not going to go into the typical gameplay, because, well, it's a sandbox game, and in true Eve spirit, go figure out what you wanna do for yourself.

Final word, Eve is a niche game. If you don't like it, that's ok, you're not hard enough anyways. If you don't give it more than a few months, that's ok, you're ignorant. If you don't do anything but play the missions or mine solo, that's also ok, you're missing out. Simple fact, you need to actually want to try to learn the game, you actually want to enjoy an intellectual challenge that is more than 'fire for baddie x and lightning for baddie y'; you need to actually think, try, fail, then rethink, retry, and refail. Eve is a harsh mistress, and she takes only the mildly masochistic and real men that can actually tough it out and not go QQ back to WoW. We won't hold your hand here, we'll chop it off, burn it, then slap you silly with it. And you'll like it.

This is Eve Online. Harsh, cold, cruel, but rewarding if you actually give it it's fair chance. Now go back to WoW and your worthless shards, instances and dancing elves, boy.

BLAH_Or_blah's avatar
Community review by BLAH_Or_blah (September 12, 2008)

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drella posted September 12, 2008:

This would have been a lot better review if you spent more time talking about what you liked about the game rather than just rebutting complaints, because simple rebuttals and insinuations that you need to be a "real man" to understand this game aren't going to convince anyone who doesn't already agree with you. I mean, you could be completely right. All these points could be true. But this isn't really a smart approach to take if your real goal is to convince people to play EVE (but that isn't your real goal. Your goal is to insinuate DoI is a dumbass that didn't play the game correctly, though I don't really care whether that's true or not if you can't make your own case for this game and better explain it).

So this could be a great rebuttal for all I know (and could have been posted in a feedback topic such as this). But it's a fairly lousy review, because its emphasis is completely misplaced on attacking an existing review, not reviewing the actual game.
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BLAH_Or_blah posted September 12, 2008:

Meh. Accomplished what I wanted to.
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drella posted September 12, 2008:

Not really. I'm still just as likely, if not more likely, to believe DoI's review because this is a simple attack piece. It casts some doubt over DoI's opinion, but not too well because the "test your manhood" approach comes across as the exact opposite, childish, and the review doesn't do much else (like describe the good parts of the game that come after you've been so patient with the system).
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BLAH_Or_blah posted September 12, 2008:

Assumptions are dangerous. I would have expected better.

If I wanted to make an advertising piece, I would make an advertising piece. You have failed to realize that simple fact. I wrote for a purpose, that purpose was met.
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drella posted September 12, 2008:

Well, congrats, but if people can't even tell what your purpose is I think it's also assumptive to say you accomplished it.

Sorry this dialog hasn't been meeting your expectation. It's mutual.
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BLAH_Or_blah posted September 12, 2008:

It's ok, I too can come off as a pretentious ass.

Have a nice day.
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drella posted September 12, 2008:


I uploaded your 100x100 blog avatar so you can also use it on the message boards. Just click on that goofy default cheetos icon next to your posts, select 100x100, and find it. It should be on page 8/70.

Have a nice day too.
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BLAH_Or_blah posted September 12, 2008:

Word, thanks.
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dragoon_of_infinity posted September 12, 2008:

Hee hee.
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WilltheGreat posted September 12, 2008:

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce BLAH or Blah, the internet's most lovable ass. <3

I take full responsibility for bringing him here; send all complaints my way. Don't worry, he kinda grows on you.
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wolfqueen001 posted September 12, 2008:

XD Well, there's no lack of amusement, that's for sure.
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espiga posted September 13, 2008:

Welcome to HG, internet's most lovable ass. I don't get what you're trying to accomplish with this review. It doesn't really say anything except "This game is hard and if you don't like it go back to WoWLolololol," an argument that doesn't really affect anyone here since barely anyone on HG plays WoW (as far as I'm aware anyway). So, since I'm apparently clueless on the subject, what were you trying to accomplish?
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WilltheGreat posted September 13, 2008:

I'm not certain if this was his intent, but Blah has highlighted an interesting inconsistency in HG's userbase; the people here seem far more eager to argue over a bad review than comment on a good one.
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EmP posted September 13, 2008:

That's not a flaw: that's human nature.

Besides, you get all your EmP-feedback offsite via a never-ending slew of AIMs.
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wolfqueen001 posted September 13, 2008:

What Will says is kind of true... it's kind of depressing, but oh well. That's what AIM's for, I guess.

Actually, getting feedback at all on this site is kind of a miracle in and of itself. >_> Usually that's done through contests, RotWs and the like.

That's why I actually think it was a good thing that people could leave feedback for their own reviews - that way they could ask for feedback on their reviews. But, then again, people would often just be annoying with that...
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BLAH_Or_blah posted September 14, 2008:

My intent won't be divulged. It's how I work, really.

*Goes back to his popcorn (no seriously, that's not a sarcastic remark on watching my topic grow without my aid, I really do have popcorn, and it is delish) munch munch*

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