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BlaZeon: The Bio-Cyborg Challenge (SNES) artwork

BlaZeon: The Bio-Cyborg Challenge (SNES) review

"BlaZeon is one of the many SNES shooter titles that went unnoticed by the majority of the general public and after spending a lot of time with old school shmups I have to say that I agree with most that the experience of bog standard shooters like blah-zeon rival Melatonin in being making gamers drowsy, I have to say it's got a few charms scattered in its evidently flawed game design. "

BlaZeon is one of the many SNES shooter titles that went unnoticed by the majority of the general public and after spending a lot of time with old school shmups I have to say that I agree with most that the experience of bog standard shooters like blah-zeon rival Melatonin in being making gamers drowsy, I have to say it's got a few charms scattered in its evidently flawed game design.

For one, it's worth noting that this is a port of the arcade version meaning that the 2 player mode has been cut out for no good reason and so have the jaw dropping graphics (for their time anyway).

Interestingly, the backgrounds to BlaZeon aren't half bad; they are repetitious and vast, but a lot of them have some fine detail to them and at the very least, they don't scream "Beginner at Mario Paint."

One good aspect that was ported from the original however was the game's soundtrack which does contribute a little to the game's boringly slow pace, but at times actually remembers it's supposed to be a shooter and will kick the pace in the pants a little.

After the second level mini-boss fight with the red cruiser ship oddly named Guanols, the soundtrack kicks in with this awesome fight music that sounds nothing short of dire and heavy. Afterwards you enter level 3 towards a Death-Star-esque base called Kalimoa where the actual pace of the game really kicks in: there are no long drawn out pauses lacking enemies and the soundtrack from the start of the stage to the end keeps the pace going long and hard.

It's in few moments like these that BlaZeon actually shines as a shooter because they almost feel important and worth playing through like in most shooters that over use the dire feeling of fighting on and on to the point where you literally feel like you're fighting in some scripted, but epic war movie.

Sadly, everything else beyond those claims of mine are true: capturing cyborgs becomes forced and tedious, every level except level 3 has at least two or more moments where you'll be floating on screen without enemies and nothing happens and the ending is one of the most nihilistic, anti-climactic, pointless excuses of a game ending to rival the four endings you get in Silent Hill 4.

The game seems to imply something beyond the plot tells you, especially considering how gooey and monstrous your enemies get later in the game, as if the generic evil Imperial Earth Army you're fighting was actually taking orders, but beyond the established Star Wars-esque premise, it's really up to your imagination.

I can only really recommend it for its soundtrack and occasional aesthetics, but unless you can speed up the game somehow or if you can get the game nice and cheap, it's hard to recommend.


newalone4's avatar
Community review by newalone4 (June 30, 2008)

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drella posted June 30, 2008:

This is getting retarded. A run-on sentence joke account? What's the point?
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Felix_Arabia posted June 30, 2008:

Though I could be wrong, and though I haven't read this particular review (but I did look at the Sinistron and Metal Black ones), I think this person is actually not someone's alt. I'm also willing to bet that this person is relatively new to the mix in the world of reviewing. We all start somewhere. If that's the case here, these efforts certainly could have been worse.

And then of course they could be better, as you have pointed out, Leroux. I think if newalone4 works on limiting lengthy sentences and completely avoids run-ons, these reviews would be decent.
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WilltheGreat posted July 01, 2008:

I, on the other hand, rather liked it.

There's something to be said for avoiding run-on sentences, but if someone who reads the review needs someone else to actually point them out, then I'd say it's not a huge detriment.
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Felix_Arabia posted July 01, 2008:

Run-on sentences are always a huge detriment.
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dagoss posted July 01, 2008:

I think Zero Punctuation might disagree with that, Felix.

It's definitely a problem here though. Still, I think it's fitting that such a redundant game be discussed with redundant prose.
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Felix_Arabia posted July 01, 2008:

Those guys iritate me.
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drella posted July 01, 2008:

Here's one willthegreat. It's the first line:

"BlaZeon is one of the many SNES shooter titles that went unnoticed by the majority of the general public and after spending a lot of time with old school shmups I have to say that I agree with most that the experience of bog standard shooters like blah-zeon rival Melatonin in being making gamers drowsy, I have to say it's got a few charms scattered in its evidently flawed game design."

That would be a run-on sentence. So come on now. These reviews are chock full of them, and only the most inattentive of readers would consider this a debatable point. Blazeon, being the shortest, obviously has the least.

It's also not debatable that this person has a firm grasp on the language despite showing no understanding of sentence structure. So that is about as bizarre a flaw as I've seen. It's like being able to do any math problem... as long as a five isn't in the problem. I don't see how you can have a grasp of one without also understanding the other.

So this leaves two options:

1. Regular having some fun.

2. Newcomer that doesn't reread anything he types. Considering the number of newcomers this site gets (essentially, EmP's friends), the fact he immediately started writing about a former niche genre around here (16-bit shmups), the consoles (TG16 and Saturn, and imports) and the fact he immediately went out of his way to give RE4 on all platforms a "1" score -- which even if you don't like the game, would still seem to be an implausible stance to take, especially by someone who comes across as rational in evaluating games so far -- I thought this seemed unlikely. Especially on the heels of Suskie's attention-getting FFVII, where if I had to throw out a guess, it would have been dead-on.

So even if I'm wrong here, and I may be, I don't think anyone can fault the thought process leading to the assumption.
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Felix_Arabia posted July 01, 2008:

This certainly is a strange situation. If the author will break their silence, I think everything will come out clear.
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overdrive posted July 01, 2008:

That's another one that ain't me. Although, at some point (maybe even THIS YEAR) I will do a review for Blazeon. Or BlaZeon: The Bio-Cyborg Challenge, as it actually seems to be called. Never knew it had a sub-title....or a capital "Z". Which might be the most interesting thing about the game.....
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newalone4 posted July 01, 2008:

Maybe I am too much of a 'newbie' here. When I signed up here I was left with the impression that I could just do as I pleased and with so much to say I felt like depositing a few reviews about games that only I thought I and the few obscure/under-rated game lovers out there like myself cared about.

If all or most of you are going to be so bloody anal about run-on sentences and structure though, then why should I bother even stating an opinion?

I'll admit, I did kind of throw that review out impetuously and mostly to get an alternate opinion out; for that at least I am sorry, but if I come across as a downright idiot because of run-ons, then maybe you'd like to compare my review to the thousands of user 'reviews' consisting of a single paragraph and using the 'word' TEH in more than one phrase.
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espiga posted July 02, 2008:

I wouldn't take it so personally. The fine writers here are simply trying to offer advice to help your writing improve, which serves to help you get your opinion across better. That's always a good thing. You've gotta push yourself harder to get better, after all. Nobody's demanding perfection out of you, but the vast majority of us are here with the intent to not only write reviews, but write them damn well.
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WilltheGreat posted July 02, 2008:

Let me rephrase:

I did not find the presence of long sentences distracting as I read the review. At no point did I stop reading and think, "Gee, this guy makes a pretty good argument, but if only his sentences were a little shorter I might care what he had to say". Rather, I read through it, liked it, read this topic and, in mild surprise, re-read the review looking for run-on sentences because they didn't jump out at me before.

If it's a good review, it's a good review. Run-on sentences in a bad review look bad. Run-on sentences in a good review aren't distracting.
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Felix_Arabia posted July 02, 2008:

This is a reviewing website. You can tell by looking at the front page. We expect reviews to contain good grammar. Fix that, and the reviews are fine. Otherwise, what's the point in stating your opinion if no one's going to take it seriously? You won't likely find paragraph reviews on this site (unless you look really, really hard). You won't find incompetent sectioned reviews. You'll find a lot of really good reviews. So obviously we care about the quality.
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WilltheGreat posted July 02, 2008:

You're starting to sound a bit elitist.
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Felix_Arabia posted July 02, 2008:


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