"Allow yourself to be subjected to one of the cheesiest-but-good platformer-action type games from 1992. It drips with style and cool, or it at the very least tries to. You are one cool crocodile. You wear your baseball cap backwards because you need to let the world know that you're the coolest thing in this universe and in any other universe that may exist. Your brother, however, disagrees. He wears his sunglasses with pride and he is convinced that the world could never comprehend the full ext..."
Allow yourself to be subjected to one of the cheesiest-but-good platformer-action type games from 1992. It drips with style and cool, or it at the very least tries to. You are one cool crocodile. You wear your baseball cap backwards because you need to let the world know that you're the coolest thing in this universe and in any other universe that may exist. Your brother, however, disagrees. He wears his sunglasses with pride and he is convinced that the world could never comprehend the full extent of his coolness even if everyone's brainpower was combined tenfold. Oh snap!
You decide that it's time to show your brother who's in charge, by proving that you can seduce the hottest, sexiest, most well-built female crocodile in all the land (seriously and for real). Cool Croc Twins puts you in the role of either Punk or Funk, both teenage-ish Crocodiles that lust after Daisy, another crocodile (fully loaded with blonde hair and a bow, no less). Your goal is to chase win the croc-girl's scaly heart by finishing single-screen platforming levels. How does completing video game levels win the hearts of females? I haven't a clue. But that's okay in this case.
Completing each level will be no easy task, you see, as the world in which the crocs live in is has very peculiar gravity restrictions. This means, of course, that walking on the walls and on the ceiling of the screen is a breeze and fully allowed. Want to jump from the left wall to the right wall? Feel more than free to do so. What isn't a breeze is trying to hit a series of opaque goal-boxes that are scattered in each level three times to get the level completed. Each time you hit a box, one third of it turns bright green, letting you know how much hitting you have left to do. At times, the boxes are blocked from one side by an object, such as a bumper or a floating boulder, forcing you to move to another side of the playing area just to jump into it. Frustration maximus!
Adding to the difficulty is the fact that not everyone in croc-world is interested in helping you out with your lady chasing. Oh no, be prepared to suddenly go in another direction to avoid fuzzy wuzzy monsters and other little creatures that don't have your best interests in mind. Just touching one of these little critters will subtract a life, and you only have three lives to begin with (none of this "five lives and you can play on zero" nonsense that game companies spoil you people with these days). Each monster has the ability to hit the boxes required to complete the level too, but if they hit a box, they will subtract a hit-credit if you hit it previously, making this game's challenge level skyrocket. You will be franticly trying to make it to the last box in the level to get your hits in, and then suddenly you notice that a monster is starting to take away your precious hit-credits from one of the boxes all the way on the other side of the screen. Hitting boxes, avoiding bad guys, and watching them to make sure that they don't undo your efforts, it's clear that this game intended for the patient multitasker.
As the game progresses, the monsters get trickier to get around, and they too will start to take advantage of the unusual gravity that croc-land features and jump randomly from one side of the screen to another, making the game completely unpredictable each and every time you play it. About halfway through the game you'll experience levels that have goal-boxes that are hidden, and you will have to constantly jump around the screen to try to find them. Other items will be hidden too, so if you jump in the wrong place you might end up uncovering a bumper or a warp hole that you send you to random parts of the level, causing you to let out howls of agony at just how difficult getting this game completed is. Getting a date with a lady croc, even the hottest one in the world, should not be this difficult! It's like the concept of those hidden item boxes in Super Mario Bros., but on crack (and lots of it). It's a damn good thing that this game has a password feature, since over 16 challenging levels exist in this game and completing the entire romp without getting at least seven or eight Game Overs is damn-near impossible.
Cool Croc Twins is a worthwhile endeavor for the early 1990s platforming fan. The background music is a treat for anyone who appreciates a good funky 1990s video game beat, and it suits the game nicely. It's an interesting game to look at, featuring wild and colorful visuals that may take a bit of getting accustomed to if you're used to playing darker games. It really takes a patient gamer to get through it all (without cheating, of course), since the game is honestly one of the trickiest games I've played, even on the easiest difficulty level. This might be a big turnoff to people who want to enjoy a game without screaming a few swear words (don't play this game around kids, folks). This game doesn't earn its coolness from the fact that one of the crocs is wearing shades. Oh who am I kidding, of course it does, and it also earns it simply because it rocks.
Community review by KompressorFromGFAQs (July 17, 2007)
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