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Three Sisters' Story (PC) artwork

Three Sisters' Story (PC) review


"You click and click and click. At first, the story seems interesting because it feels just around the corner from some hot, lusty naked cartoon action. Oh yeah, you're just a few scrolls of text away from the throbbing thrillhammer, huh... Yeah, just keep reading that insipid story about a family torn apart by corporate greed. The backdrop sets itself fast enough and the pace seems set to race toward wild teen orgies at any moment. "



You click and click and click. At first, the story seems interesting because it feels just around the corner from some hot, lusty naked cartoon action. Oh yeah, you're just a few scrolls of text away from the throbbing thrillhammer, huh... Yeah, just keep reading that insipid story about a family torn apart by corporate greed. The backdrop sets itself fast enough and the pace seems set to race toward wild teen orgies at any moment.

But you keep clicking and you start getting bored. 3 Sisters' Story is a game of the most simple programming; it's essentially Hypercard stuff that keeps track of where you clicked. Follow me here.

A picture is displayed on the screen. This is about it for graphics; it changes with what you do and where you are, but you'll stare at it for a long time if you try to follow the story. A window pops up with your actions- options within will range from ''talking'' to ''thinking'' to ''doing'' different things. At first, it's acceptable to click on these options. ''I'm about this close to droppin' trou anyway, may as well catch the story.'' But your character, Koichi, just starts whining at the first click and never lets up.

All options lead to ''whine.'' This sorry bastard whines about where he is, whom he's around, and what he's about to do. Then, he whines about what he can or can't do, or what he must or must not do. Koichi has involved himself in a plot to steal the virginity of the three girls next door - daughters of the man responsible for his father's death - and just constantly whines about it the whole game.

But certainly, after you've clicked on ''thinking about whining'' a bunch of times, you can get some skin? Not in this turd. No screen can be passed, no motion forward in the game made until you've performed the right actions. Be this thinking, doing, or talking, it usually means ''click every available option until you see the resultant information repeat.'' I'll stress this point here, because this is where the game shows its true form: you spend the entirety of the game clicking on all your available options, not really reading them, until you see their results repeat.

Over and over and over, you click and click and click.

Get it? This sorry-ass porno ''game'' is nowhere near the ''left hand on the mouse'' experience that simply downloading porn yields you. All 3 Sisters' Story is is the most monotonous of routines interspersed with no more than two or three MS-Paint-quality cartoon porno scenes. Hell, these porno scenes don't even match what the text describes. Thrill as you select ''kiss'' on her ''private parts,'' but the screen shows her lying there doing nothing. Gasp as the text describes rampant boob licking with a picture of saliva exchange to accompany it. For these loathsome rewards you must suffer more whining than an entire Staind album and more ceaseless clicking than your mouse can endure.

I know nerds love this sort of stuff because it combines sitting on your ass with Japanese cartoons and pathetic nudity, but I hate it. This is far less gratifying than the practically limitless amount of actual porn available at the mouse's click. Listen up nerds: this game is designed to bait, torture, and mock you. It baits you with its promise of hot throbbing porno action, it tortures you with every click, and it mocks your every effort to keep spirits up enough to play it.

Rating: 1/10

sinner's avatar
Community review by sinner (March 14, 2004)

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