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Reader review by falsehead
March 08, 2004 Writing a review of one of thse kinds of games is quite a challenge. How can I justify playing something as pathetic and sleazy as Sex Games 2 on the Commodore 64. Well basically it was curiosity. I had heard of sex based games on various systems dating back to suck infamous Atari 2600 titles like “Beat ‘em and Eat ‘em” and “Custers Revenge”. My retro system of choice is the Commodore 64 so it was searching this back catalogue that I found this shoddy piece of software.The people behind are CAS+CCGG and it was published in 1988 by THE WIZARDS ASSOCIATION. It reeks from start to finish of cynical exploitation of mans baser instincts. The only thing that is good about this game is the superb music track, but on closer inspection of the credits, I realised this was actually ripped from earlier titles “BMX Simulator” and “BMX KiDZ”
Once you have go past the credits screen you are faced with an allegedly humorous montage of badly drawn images of and old woman using a sex-toy to stir up some food, oh my poor aching sides! These are plain black and white line drawings set over a fast moving techno backdrop and soundtrack. Most bizarre. Anyway once you quickly skip past that you find the real meat (ahem) of the game.
You will see a black and white line drawing of a man with a moustache and side-burns engaged in an intimate embrace with a woman wearing fetching earrings, high heels and a big bouffant hairdo. The score read 00000. To start building up your score you must wiggle your joystick from left to right. Wiggle left for one point, wiggle right for another. Keep up a steady rhythm of wiggling and you’ll soon reach fifty points, where on the pic will change. And you must wiggle some more, and so on and so on. After seven pics you start over. And that’s it, keep waggling though again and it’s the same pics over and over. No bonus pics when you reach 1000 points. Just sheer repetitive monotony which leaves you feeling distinctly unsatisfied and with rather a sore wrist.
Oh did I forget to mention the pics are still ones. No, they have precisely two frames of animation. Put it this way when you waggle the stick left, the man pulls back, waggle right and he pushes forward. I feel you are getting the gist here. Not much changes from pic to pic. In some the lady likes to bounce, in others to suck and in one surprising twist the chap with a moustache helps her out with an itch down below.
Well there you go. Like all porn it’s silly, repetitive, unsatisfying and full of utter contempt for the suckers using it. The ultimate cheek is that as you play the “creators” spend ages running lists of “shout outs” to their mates, phone numbers if people want to get in touch about making more games and blatantly boast about the music they have ripped off. The artist gets credit to, though he should really be ashamed of this dross.
Oh well, is there any good in a “game” of this sort? Not really. Perhaps it can be used to disprove these mythical times of innocence that are supposed to have existed in the videogaming world prior to the advent of the internet and the “hilarious” sex games you can download for free now. Well my curiosity is satisfied. As for you lot reading this. Go download and play Sextris or Pornoid if you like this kind of crude stuff. If you don’t then why were you reading this review, eh, EH????
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