Seasons of the Sakura (PC) review "I look at Seasons of the Sakura and I think to myself, ''hey, this is bad! I'm doing more for these anime girls than I would probably do for real ones!'' "

I look at Seasons of the Sakura and I think to myself, ''hey, this is bad! I'm doing more for these anime girls than I would probably do for real ones!''

Well, I suppose not, but I look at our protagonist, Shuji, and then contemplate what I went through to reach the end of the story (relentless clicking!). He is going through more than I would. I watch him spew his moronic dialogue as he obliviously converses with the smitten women of the prep school he's attending. They all approach him, and beg him to join their various clubs -- one plays tennis, another baseball, another swimming. These are the main three women, of numerous. He's trying to ... well, I don't know what he's aiming to accomplish, but this is a hentai game, so it must involve sex. He probably wants to find his one true love -- the one he was destined to spend his time on Earth with. And also do her.

But he's working his ass off for one ultimate destination, pleasing every girl when the final result will be ending up with just one. He has only one flaw in terms of athleticism and raw skill -- he can't swim. Other than that, he competes with and annihilates whoever he comes across at the other events that he participates in, as the result of the girls' constant begging. He must know he's only going to end up with one woman, and they're all throwing themselves at him. But he foolishly tries to please them all, tiring himself and the player out as he has to listen to the ladies argue over what he's going to do, and then, inevitably, does anything they ask.

So the super-athletic femme-magnetic humble hero rattles through the adventure submissively.

The main problem I have here is the lack of variation. There are only a small handful of situations when you make a choice as to a course of action, and it actually affects significantly which of the picturesque, well-endowed beauties he'll finally fall for. Sometimes, you don't actually get to make choices at all. Sure, there will be multiple actions to choose from on the screen, but upon selecting the 'wrong' one, Shuji will say to himself, ''Reiko is waiting for me at the swimming pool -- I better go there.'' Well, why did you appear to give me a choice at first, jackass? Stop jerking me around is all I ask!

So fine. I yawn, clicking almost idly as the texts roooooolls on endlessly, watching as our hero Shuji goes on camping trips and competes in the sports and what not. Then, the slutty, strawberry Shoko throws herself at me, so I accept.

Poof. 3 pictures involving sex, and some ''erotic'' text at the bottom, indicating the passion of the encounter!

And then, it's over.

This is what I spent my time on? It was such a (relatively) lengthy adventure, and for this? Fine! I'll reload my game (a cool feature: you can save on the fly, so if one of the few important decisions you made turned about to lead you down a path you didn't want, you can just start over) and see who else I can end up with!

Oh boy. More talking and doing whatever the girls say. It turns out I wasn't far into this quest at all! I can understand going through the trouble if it's real life, but not so much here.

But it's the same for no matter which girl you end up with -- a couple revealing shots, and such titillating action choices as PAT BREASTS, which to me sounds more like the name of a gameshow host than a pleasure technique.

I can't deny the fact that the girls are good-looking. I can only question the purpose of this bile. If you're looking for tips for getting the girls, then I can just tell you, do whatever they ask. Unless you're sports megastar Shuji, it may not end so tidily, but do your best! If you're in it for the pornographic material, then your patience is to be highly regarded, but your illogic to be frowned upon. And here I thought porn was generally sought with some general urgency (if not because of the hormones!). Get Seasons of the Sakura if you're looking for...wait. Just don't.

Community review by dogma (February 01, 2004) A bio for this contributor is currently unavailable, but check back soon to see if that changes. If you are the author of this review, you can update your bio from the Settings page.