Mega Man X (SNES) review "Before I begin, a haiku: "

Before I begin, a haiku:

Blue bomber Mega Man
Save us from the evil robots
Our last hope you are

So begins the story behind Mega Man X. There’s some sort of chaos going on.... Um… You’re dropped off a ship and you go places… There’s some superhero guy named Zero… Err… I’m sure it’s better then this, but I didn’t really pay attention. There’s some wacky hunter guys, and they’re like, “WHOA!!! We don’t want you goin’ on brotha!” But you’re all like, “Oh yeah well my name is ROCK in Japan!” And then they’re like, “Well okay, youze gonna ROLL if you don’t getz to steppin’!” And then he’s like, “Nooooo brotha, ROLL is mah SISTER, my name is ROCK!” And they’re like, “Wow, that’s trippy, your brother is still PROTO Man right?” And then he’s like, “No way, in Japan, PROTO MAN is named BLUES because he was made with the genes of Louie Armstrong!” And then my head spontaneously explodes.

Such is how the entangled Mega Man series works. Honestly, after all the incarnations of the series, I can’t make heads or tails of the story. In this version, the first in a new generation of games apparently, Mega is far into the future. A new group of renegade robots had popped up, lead by a mysterious figure known as Sigma. With the help of your new bestest buddy Zero, and gifts left by that old codger Dr. Light, it’s your job to vanquish these dastardly foes!

Besides a strict coherence to zany stories and characters that make no sense, the Mega Man series is famous for precise platform gaming with cool weaponry enhancements. Mega Man X takes the basic concepts from the past games on the NES and modifies them quite successfully. This was probably the most I had enjoyed a Mega Man game since the third installment.

In case video games are some abstract new concept to you (in which case I might ask why you’re reading a review for a decade old Super Nintendo game), the basic gameplay of the Mega Man series remains intact. It’s your basic platformer, as you jump, leap, and blast your way through a side scrolling area. Extra goodies include the mega buster, which is a super powered normal shot, and various pieces of equipment which are found strewn about stages.

Equipment you say? Oh yes, equipment. Dr. Light, in his infinite wisdom, has left behind system upgrades to restore Mega to his formerly full powered self. They include leg implants for dashing, armor implants, and a nifty helmet for bashing open blocks and opening secret areas. Oh yeah, you can also get one which lets you shoot out really impressive bursts of pink energy, but who cares about that?

Of course I care about that!!! I am man, I like shootey things, *especially* with impressive colors! In this aspect of vital gameplay, Mega Man X does not disappoint. In addition to the bright pink blaster power up, you also receive each boss’ weapon after you beat them. Plenty of fun stuff to play with, like razor blades and shattering four way ice blasts!

If you’re expecting a great challenge, might I suggest Super Ghouls and Ghosts? Mega Man X is hardly a taxing game; I’m not an expert platform gamer, and I managed to beat the game in a couple hours. It’s basically memorizing enemy patterns, collecting useful power ups, and beating the bosses in the correct order. The ease of the game in no way detracts from the enjoyment, however. I’d argue that it enhances it, as you aren’t constantly frustrated by dying every other step.

Graphically, Mega Man X has a futuristic cartoon appeal. Not much more to say other then that. Similarly, it has a bouncy, nouveau techno beat bouncing throughout. How can I describe the presentation values in a fresh way that also will kill a lot of words and make my review appear to be more logically thought out?

Well, imagine that you got stuck in a coloring book. And that the little kid (or perhaps shady old adult) coloring is a pretty good artist. And he likes the anime stuff, you know, the big eyes, and the big boobies on girls, except that there’s no girls in your scene, unfortunately. And while he’s coloring, he’s humming like a catchy little tune. And while he’s coloring you in, he likes to make sound effects, you know, for like the pellets you’re shooting, pfffttt pfftttt! And when you charge up your blaster, ssshhhrrroooonnneeeee! Well, that’s what playing Mega Man X is a lot like.

In conclusion, I like this game. The only knock against it is that it’s not the hardest game around the block. Which isn’t an issue for me, since I like an easy, sleazy girl like Mega Man X just fine the way it is. Play it, you won’t be disappointed, unless YOU HAVE NO SOUL.

... And no, I’m not kidding.

Community review by sgreenwell (February 24, 2003) A bio for this contributor is currently unavailable, but check back soon to see if that changes. If you are the author of this review, you can update your bio from the Settings page.